10/11/21
Therapist: I'll get you a cup of water.
Ms. Avery: Your cup of water sounds different than my cup of water.
Monday, October 11, 2021 | | 0 Comments
1/22/21
Ms. Bumpus: I have 3 sisters and 5 brothers.
Me: So there were 9 kids.
Ms. Bumpus: No, 14.
Me: ...... sooo how many boys and how many girls were there?
Ms. Bumpus: 6 boys and 5 girls.
Me: 🤦🏻♀️
Friday, January 22, 2021 | | 0 Comments
01/06/17
Ms. McGuffee: I'm hungry for the first time in I don't know when. It's like having a baby. You have one and then for some reason you want another one right away.
Friday, January 06, 2017 | | 0 Comments
04/30/16
Ms. Revis: When I say ahem, some pee comes out.
Sent from my iPhone
Sunday, May 01, 2016 | | 0 Comments
01/08/16
Ms. Miller: When God dips his love in my heart
Makes laugh makes me cry
He set my simple soul on fire
Friday, January 08, 2016 | | 0 Comments
08/25/15
Ms. Vaughn: You can't swing a cat in that room without eating cat hair.
Me: How did your meeting go?
Ms. Vaughn: We won everything there in that meeting and it made me happy as shit.
Tuesday, August 25, 2015 | | 0 Comments
04/22/14
Ms. H: Are you pregnant?
Me: Yes.
Ms. H: Whatcha gonna name it?
Me: I don't know yet.
Ms. H: Name it Imogene. (Her first name)
Me: Well, it's a boy.
Ms. H: Name him Sir Galahad.
Tuesday, April 22, 2014 | | 0 Comments
09/05/13
Mr. F: Five million dollars.
Me: Five million?
Mr. F: Yes, five million dollars. You can buy three cans of butter beans with that.
Friday, September 06, 2013 | | 0 Comments
07/16/13
Me: Your church sent you a flier.
Ms. Ruggles: They had a fire?
Me: They sent you a flier.
Ms. Ruggles: They had a choir?
Me: They sent you a FLIER.
Ms. Ruggles: I'm not a liar.
Me: They sent you a newsletter.
Tuesday, July 16, 2013 | | 0 Comments
06/06/13
Ms. Hancock: I thought she was fussing at me for mocking that man across the hall. He yells hello and I yell back and it makes him shut up for a minute. Gives my ears a break. I can yell as loud as he can.
Ms. Hancock: How can you tell if you're done with your paperwork?
Me: Sometimes I can't tell.
Sent from my iPhone
Thursday, June 06, 2013 | | 0 Comments
06/05/13
Ms. Hancock: When those people [telmarketers] call I just listen to them a while then I tell them I'm sick and I gotta go and it's true, I am sick of them!
Wednesday, June 05, 2013 | | 0 Comments
05/18/13
Ms. Higdon: I been kinda twigldy since I been sick.
Sent from my iPhone
Saturday, May 18, 2013 | | 0 Comments
10/09/12
Ms. Mueller: I gotta pee. Trickle trickle like a pickle.
Tuesday, October 09, 2012 | | 0 Comments
05/30/12
Ms. Ingle: I need to lower my face a little. It's making me drunk.
Friday, June 01, 2012 | | 0 Comments
05/24/12
Ms. Wright: (Rolls into another patients room, eating a cookie and drinking a cup of water to tell me) Hey! I'm being kidnapped. Call the po-lice.
Me: Who is your favorite therapist?
Ms. Ingram: I don't know what a therapist is but I'm sure that you're not my favorite.
Thursday, May 24, 2012 | | 0 Comments
05/17/12
Ms. Ingram: I don't need to lose weight. I'm big at fat now.
Friday, May 18, 2012 | | 0 Comments
04/27/12
Ms. Ingle: Are you making that noise with your mouth?
Me: No, I'm blowing my nose.
Ms. Ingle: Well it's not an exciting noise so stop it.
Friday, April 27, 2012 | | 0 Comments
04/10/12
Me: That girl is walking over there.
Ms. Ingram: She's crawling or cussing or smacking her butt.
Ms. Ingram: I want to get with that long tall guy with some food. We could share it.
Thursday, April 19, 2012 | | 0 Comments
02/27/12
Me: Hi, Ms. Hall, how are you feeling?
Ms. Hall: Dead.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012 | | 0 Comments
02/21/20
Ms. Buchanan: My kids like to play in the toilet. My youngest girl, she was so little you had to watch her or she would just flush down the toilet like a big turd.
Sent from my iPhone
Tuesday, February 21, 2012 | | 0 Comments
02/20/12
Ms. Douthard: Sometimes when I eat chicken, it's not chicken.
Ms. Douthard: Everything is stretching out. I'm stretching out.
Monday, February 20, 2012 | | 0 Comments
12/29/11
Ms. Lord: My husband was here the other day. Walking up and down the hall and being extremely nosey.
Friday, December 30, 2011 | | 0 Comments
10/21/11
Mr. Jones: Pauline's dog even takes pills. Yes, he took some of mine. Just snapped them up and didn't even take any water with them.
Friday, October 21, 2011 | | 0 Comments