Me: Why are are you at this nursing home? What did you break?
Mr. Jones: A little Mexican girl's heart.
(He broke his arm.)

Ms. Barker: That little girl pushed me around so I slapped the shit out of her.

Ms. Irwin: You are dressed up so nice and fancy. Some people would say it's tacky but I don't.

Mr. McCurry: You look nice. You look like a reall good tan dude.

Ms. Irwin: (Pointing to a large woman.) is that woman pregnant or just fat?

Me: How are you?
Mr. Goode: I'm Goode. Don't you remember me?

Mr. Goode: I saw your sister near Brookside. I think she was in a car accident. It wasn't serious. Her name is James. She favors you.

Looking at the therapists helping a patient stand up:
Mr. Goode: He pissed or something, I don't know.

Ms. Earl: Then I met Ted and it was all over. I'd crawl into bed at night and he'd put his arm around me, it felt so good to sleep next to him. It wasn't sex all the time. You know, there's more to it than that, that's why you shouldn't give in too soon.

Ms. Earl: When she comes to clean me up, she scrubs till my fussy bus comes out.

Mr. McCurry: My sister had twins that she named Dora May and Ora Fay.

Ms. Drummond: I'm wanting to pee a lot. Have you got a pill for that?

Mr. Goode: Brookside is a big city.
Me: Really? Are there even any stop lights in Brookside?
Mr. Goode: No. But it's a big city.

Me: (About a picture of a man licking an envelope) What's he doing?
Ms. Thomas: He's whispering into it.

Mr. Parker: I'm 150% diabetes.

Mr. Parker: (About the other residents) There's some ladies down there that done lost their marbles.

Ms. Jones: I like your kind of food. (On dinner being Chinese food, but I'm not Chinese.)

Ms. Jones: My husband and I went our 3 years and were engaged 2. He bought the license 3 times before I would say yes.

Ms. Earl: Both your backs are killing me.

Ms. X: (On the nursing staff having to manually evacuate her bowels) They stick instruments and things in the back that interfere with the front. I'm not using it right now but I might want to later.

Ms. Earl: I'm gonna tell her she needs to watch out.
Me: For what?
Ms. Earl: For poopin'!!

Therapist: What is this place?
Ms. Parsons: I think you'd call it a beer joint.
Therapist: Do you like it?
Ms. Parsons: Well I'm not going to stay if they start shootin' it up.

Me: Finish this phrase for me. You sit on a....
Ms. Gordy: Butt.

Me: I got a new car!
Ms. Plummer: Shit your mouth! What color?

Ms. Plummer: I really am trying to get rid of these pigs. Did I tell you about that? It's like "Granny, you hold onto these pigs for a couple of weeks" and then that's that!

Ms. Plummer: Tim is on Tim's side and by that I mean he can go in there and get whatever he wants.

Ms. Epps: Is that a beret over there with cherries on top?

Ms. Plummer: I been messing around with all that kissy wissy.

Ms. Plummer: I think they had the machine gun to play with. It wasn't real though.

Ms. Plummer: He can't do it ring side where he tells so much of much.

Ms. Jones: I've got 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 kids. I got a wheelbarrow full!

Therapist: Do you dance?
Ms. Plummer: Could be but I gotta have a lotta rock n roll before I do it!

Therapist: Finish this... Shoes and...
Ms. Dawson: Chicken.

Ms. Plummer: I wish I had a good man to sleep along side of me because that's the dream.

Ms. Plummer: (After lifting up her shirt to show me where her skin was itchy) Won't nobody play with me now.

Ms. Plummer: I wish I could just find a telephone booth and get on the telephone and get back to North Carolina.

Ms. Plummer: I wish they would hurry up and get the clocks all straightened out and just enjoy themselves.

Therapist: Did you eat lunch?
Ms. Plummer: Yeah, a big old rag.

Ms. Plummer: I like to stat around the men folk.

Therapist: What country are we in?
Ms. Plummer: Tree. Oak tree probably.

Ms. Plummer: I just wish someone would whistle and let me get out of here.

Ms. Plummer: I wish I had something I could throw a quarter or two and go out the door.

Ms. Plummer: I just wish someone would hand me a gun and say here you get your stuff cleared out cause you can't do something but once or twice.

Ms. Sorensen: They had me waiting over there.
Therapist: Where?
Ms. Sorensen: Over where they had me waiting.

Therapist: What is your bird's name?
Ms. Plummer: July 24th.
Therapist: What's your cat's name?
Ms. Plummer: Cat.

Therapist: What was your husband's name?
Ms. Plummer: He was a person who liked to help Christians putting their stuff back together. He didn't like dirt to get on his stuff.

Therapist: Did you work?
Ms. Plummer: When I was dating him? Yes, I was pregnant.

Ms. Plummer: (Looking out into the therapy room.) What are they doing out there? Happy time?

Therapist: What was your husband's name?
Ms. Plummer: Vesper Brompson Williams Callaway.
Therapist: Wasn't he a Plummer?
Ms. Plummer: Oh yes, I forgot about that part, it's in there somewhere too.