So I work in a nursing home as a speech therapist, and a large part of my day is talking to adorable little old men and ladies who are either quite demented or just unabashed to be old and crazy. I jot down some of the funny comments and stories they tell me and want to share them with the world.


Me: Why are are you at this nursing home? What did you break?
Mr. Jones: A little Mexican girl's heart.
(He broke his arm.)

Ms. Barker: That little girl pushed me around so I slapped the shit out of her.

Ms. Irwin: You are dressed up so nice and fancy. Some people would say it's tacky but I don't.

Mr. McCurry: You look nice. You look like a reall good tan dude.