So I work in a nursing home as a speech therapist, and a large part of my day is talking to adorable little old men and ladies who are either quite demented or just unabashed to be old and crazy. I jot down some of the funny comments and stories they tell me and want to share them with the world.

The first funnies on March 1st

Ms. Erwin: With flee and fly and flying and all that.

Ms. Erwin: Everything all waterly out there. [about the rain]

Ms. Erwin: [to her roommate] Now shut up, you, talking like that! They are going to bring us some buzzards!!

Mr. Oldham: I don't eat mustard greens. Don't no one like mustard greens.

Mr. Oldham: [mishearing the words Ash Wednesday] Aspirin? Why they call it that? Because you got a headache from drinking too much on Mardi Gras?

Mr. Oldham: I'd give that woman across the hall a skillet, one of those cast iron skillets, and let her beat me over the head with it and she'd do it too.