So I work in a nursing home as a speech therapist, and a large part of my day is talking to adorable little old men and ladies who are either quite demented or just unabashed to be old and crazy. I jot down some of the funny comments and stories they tell me and want to share them with the world.

April 11 Construction site

Mr. Denham: [about my long hair] You need to make me your assistant and I can move all those cables hanging down for you.

Ms. Harris: We're not up to anything. If we were, we couldn't do it.

Ms. Harris: We had a jelly roll for lunch. I guess it's just called a roll, though.

Ms. Harris: There's two little girl who can't raise their leg high enough to say good morning. It makes them sick.

Ms. Harris: They lock you in that bed, sometimes they let you out for supper, then wrap you up and throw you back in bed. "You belong there" that's what they say.

Ms. Harris: What does that little Indian hand do?