So I work in a nursing home as a speech therapist, and a large part of my day is talking to adorable little old men and ladies who are either quite demented or just unabashed to be old and crazy. I jot down some of the funny comments and stories they tell me and want to share them with the world.

April 12 Latham's back

Ms. Latham: I have 3 children. They're grown. All finished college. I have 2 grandchildren and they're just like bulbs in a ball. I have 2 brothers and 3 sisters, I believe.

Mr. Oldham: Sit in that chair over there.
Me: No, it's too low.
Mr. Oldham: Yeah, I know, I like to see you fall into it.

Mr. Oldham: I hit my head this morning. Can you see it? It feels red.

Mr. Oldham: My little brother started hating me. 'Cause he couldn't whoop me. He was living by himself in a boarding house. He had a wife and kids but his sons couldn't stand him. He liked to beat on his son. He was a little fellow and you know how they are, he thought he could beat everyone.

Mr. Oldham: I didn't fight to hurt people. I fought to whoop 'em. It was fun to me.

Ms. Harris: You here to record what I eat? I don't care if you write this down but it was a potato about this big and it was so tough that meat was so cold and dessicated you couldn't even eat it. I'd be ashamed to serve food like that.

Ms. Harris: I'm tired, shoot she beat on me. She made me work har.

Ms. Harris: Did you hurting Jack, did you hurting him today? He had 3 cardiograms that are hot that he puts on it to make it feel better.

Ms. Harris: They don't know how old I am. I wrote it down more times than they can imagine.

Ms. Harris: Some people are so bad you can't look at them.