So I work in a nursing home as a speech therapist, and a large part of my day is talking to adorable little old men and ladies who are either quite demented or just unabashed to be old and crazy. I jot down some of the funny comments and stories they tell me and want to share them with the world.

April 6

Ms. Latham: I have about 10 children. I have about 16 brothers and sisters. We don't have that many.

Ms. Falcone: Honey, I'm gonna spit this out, you better catch it, because it's coming out.

Ms. Erwin: You sit up here, I'll sit down there, you have a lot more to think about.

Ms. Yates: While I'm out pickin' cotton out in the field, you make me a snack and then ya'll go pick cotton while I eat it.

Ms. Erwin: Did you go? It's just dummy to me.

Ms. Yates: A man depends on a woman for a lot of things. It's not necessary but he does. Be sweet to him and he'll be weet to you, maybe.

Ms. Yates: If you leave, keep your cotton clean and don't put no sticks in it.

Mr. Russell: You've spoiled me, you'll have to do this again. [on bringing him some water]

Ms. Harris: This lady that everyone liked, she's the superintendent or something, I think, she came in and said you know you're not supposed to get in bed by yourself, if you do that too many times we'll put you on the floor and not give you any covers but if they do that, I'll just walk right out on my bare feet. And then the girls took me to the bathhouse and gave me a bath.

Ms. Harris: He has only fallen 3 times to amount to anything in his life.

Ms. Harris: Yes, I did get my bath, why do you smell it?

Ms. Harris: She's just a public, I guess you'd call it.

Ms. Harris: Dinner won't be anything good, it hasn't been good two nights in a row.

Ms. Harris: I like my housekeeper. She doesn't talk much but she's nice. [referring to roommate]

Ms. Hale: I won't eat much, maybe I won't have to pee.