So I work in a nursing home as a speech therapist, and a large part of my day is talking to adorable little old men and ladies who are either quite demented or just unabashed to be old and crazy. I jot down some of the funny comments and stories they tell me and want to share them with the world.

April 5 Wet Willie!

Ms. Latham: I think there was 10 children. I think there were 14 of us brothers and sisters.

Ms. Willie: I was double, maybe triple busy yesterday. I had the worst diarrhea.

Ms. Hale: I don't want to answer any questions. You know all the answers anyway. It don't help you none.

Ms. Hale: [about being in a nursing home] It's better than nothing, just barely.

Ms. Hale: These days people don't know what love is. They all get married and just have babies. That's all they do is have babies and bring too many of them into the world. My niece after she got married, she had a bunch one right after another but my sister put a shop with that. Next time you come back they'll probably have a dozen a piece.

Ms. Bollen: You just wanted to come in here and eat my candy. You don't want to help me.

Ms. Harris: I rolled this wheelbarrow over to the door and sat there a while. I met a lady who was crazy as a bat but she was nice enough.

Ms. Harris: My kids, I don't enjoy them they way I ought to. They say, now Mother, why don't you do this or why don't you do that? And I think why don't you just shut up?

Ms. Yates: Herschell's mother brought those flowers. [Herschell is her son, therefore _she_ would be Herschell's mother]