So I work in a nursing home as a speech therapist, and a large part of my day is talking to adorable little old men and ladies who are either quite demented or just unabashed to be old and crazy. I jot down some of the funny comments and stories they tell me and want to share them with the world.


Ms. Harris: I guess I just married him cause he was all that. Then
after I married him, I found out all sorts of bad things I didn't like
about him.

Ms. York: He said I'm leaving and I said don't hurry back.

Ms. York: I've got snot between my nose and my mouth.

Ms. York: Then he brought the smartass ass stool.

Ms. York: And my sister said, hell, wait, I ain't got no damn sister.

Ms. York: My butthole is stiff. It's got sticks in it.

Ms. York: Seemed like I was getting a handful of shit for a whole
solid month.

Ms. York: Now don't ask me more, you done got me cock-eyed.