So I work in a nursing home as a speech therapist, and a large part of my day is talking to adorable little old men and ladies who are either quite demented or just unabashed to be old and crazy. I jot down some of the funny comments and stories they tell me and want to share them with the world.


Ms. York: Well I'm a straight hair floozy.

Ms. York: I stuck the corner of the plate in my eye when I was half
ass trying to eat.

Ms. York: (About a nursing assistant getting her dressed.) that girl
was as sweet as can be. I was hateful, I'll admit it. I would like to
do something to make up for the hatefulness I showed.

Ms. York: You know who I was thinking of? Marti. You know she was sick
and she's not usually sick. She didn't fail to tell it. She didn't
quit, she kept right on going, I wonder how she gets any housework done.

Ms. York: I ain't gonna say horseshit. I get my tongue in my mouth.