So I work in a nursing home as a speech therapist, and a large part of my day is talking to adorable little old men and ladies who are either quite demented or just unabashed to be old and crazy. I jot down some of the funny comments and stories they tell me and want to share them with the world.


(To a patient I haven't seen in two weeks) Me: You're looking good since the last time I saw you.
Ms. Coar: That's about 5 minutes ago.
Ms. Coar: You get you a hot toddy. It has apple juice in it, let it get hot and put as much alcohol in it as you want and you can't get up the next day.
Ms. Coar: You gots to get some more blankets that are crifty.
Me: What's that?
Ms. Coar: You don't know crifty? It's like this blanket, it has more warmth to them.