So I work in a nursing home as a speech therapist, and a large part of my day is talking to adorable little old men and ladies who are either quite demented or just unabashed to be old and crazy. I jot down some of the funny comments and stories they tell me and want to share them with the world.

March 10 Friday funnies

Mr. Oldham: My brother worked for the telegraph messenger service and he rode a bike. That's what he made his living on, that bicycle. He delivered telegrams and all on it. He'd come home for dinner and I'd get on it and go. He didn't like it and I don't blame him. He worked hard on that bike.

Mr. Oldham: Ol' Dempsey, he's the one I lived with over there before I went to the hospital and got that ol' time clock put in me. [on his pacemaker]

Mr. Oldham: [about the water fountain] I got some water at the hydrant over there by the office.

Ms. Erwin: She was so sad and I won't tell anyone else but you but I was sad too! My mother she was there and I was there and I was crying and she was crying and we were both in bokin bok pokin pokin pokin!

Ms. Erwin: [after a burp] Excuse me! I'm sroppin' all the way!

Ms. Erwin: You just got all and jump down and bang!