So I work in a nursing home as a speech therapist, and a large part of my day is talking to adorable little old men and ladies who are either quite demented or just unabashed to be old and crazy. I jot down some of the funny comments and stories they tell me and want to share them with the world.

March 13th Everyone's a comedien

Ms. Yates: Oh me, I think I'm about to fall apart. Just throw part of me away that you can't get in bed.

Ms. Yates: My feet are so cold.
Ms. Erwin: Let me see... (She feels Ms. Yate's cheek) Now, that's not cold.
Ms. Yates: No, my feet are cold.
Ms. Erwin: Oh. (She feels her feet) Now those are cold, you are right about that.

Ms. Erwin: Well, she's not workin'. (about Ms. Yates sleeping)

Ms. Yates: We don't want her starving if she's hungry. Ever what she wants to do.

Ms. Erwin: I'll sit here anyhow because it will be two or three in a box.

Mr. Oldham: That girl giving me a bath, I kept staring at her and I asked her what she got between her legs. She said I got a tiger there. So I felt there between her legs. I wanted to see if there was a tiger in there. Keep it from roaring at me. She got mad and I don't blame her.

Mr. Oldham: My brother like to nearly die of double pneumonia, but my mother, she wouldn't let him.

Mr. Oldham: You sure are pretty. That's why I care for you. I mostly like people who look good, I guess I like some who are ugly too. I don't guess they can help it.

Mr. Oldham: I got down in that chair ovr there and I just kep going down. Then I couldn't get out. I got to hollering and told the girl go get you a man to help you get me out of here.