So I work in a nursing home as a speech therapist, and a large part of my day is talking to adorable little old men and ladies who are either quite demented or just unabashed to be old and crazy. I jot down some of the funny comments and stories they tell me and want to share them with the world.

March 16th Funnies

Ms. Smith: They showed me a picture and asked me if I knew who it was and I said that's what's left of me!

Me: You'll be 96 on your birthday.
Ms. Latham: Oh go on.
Me: You will.
Ms. Latham: Oh, so what?

Me: What did you do yesterday?
Ms. Latham: Picked peaches.
Me: How many?
Ms. Latham: Four bushels.
Me: What did you do with them?
Ms. Latham: Ate 'em.
Me: All of them?
Ms. Latham: I gave some away. To the children.

Mr. Oldham: I made enough money to buy cigarettes and I don't even think I smoked back then.

Ms. Mitchell: I had 3 sisters. They made us into a quartet. Sent us to singing lessons. They said I cried real low, uuuh huh. So I had to sing bass.

Ms. Erwin: My sister, she had three children and she kept them all!

Ms. Yates: (about the stuffed dog she was holding) Well tell it bye bye, you won't see it again. (laughs evily) When I come back it won't be coming with me!

Ms. Yates: I got to go home. Push me.
Ms. Erwin: Where?
Ms. Yates: I don't care any which way you want to push me as long as you don't push me off into the woods.