So I work in a nursing home as a speech therapist, and a large part of my day is talking to adorable little old men and ladies who are either quite demented or just unabashed to be old and crazy. I jot down some of the funny comments and stories they tell me and want to share them with the world.

March 17th St Patrick's Day!

Mr. Oldham: We used to steal peaches from the neighbor's trees. They just let them fall on the ground and rot. They let kids do things like that, make them think they're all big. If we'd've gone up to the door they probably would've given them to us. But we didn't want them that way. They were only good when we took them.

Mr. Oldham: I'm not spring chicken. I'm a sprung chicken!

Ms. Latham: I'm just a'dyin. You're killin' me!

Ms. Harris: We wouldn't get sick if we get sick.

Ms. Harris: He's going to be 11. He's going to be big before I get old.