So I work in a nursing home as a speech therapist, and a large part of my day is talking to adorable little old men and ladies who are either quite demented or just unabashed to be old and crazy. I jot down some of the funny comments and stories they tell me and want to share them with the world.

March 29 The hilarity ensues

Ms. Latham: I have one child living. I got so many brothers and sisters I can't count.

Ms. Yates: When I don't know, I know know.

Ms. Yates: I have bursitis. It's where they have to go in your side and take out your gizzard I guess. Your gizzard or liver, one.

Ms. Yates: One of the girls here might have got my earrings. If I see them on anyone, I'll snatch them off!

Ms. Harris: You walk just like electric.

Ms. Harris: My leg urts so I can't walk much but I can't even walk a little.

Ms. Harris: I go up to that room where I jump and swing and slide and play ball. [Therapy] The people are so nice up there. If you get hurt, they are so sweet to you and don't make you stand in the corner.

Ms. Harris: I did my arms like this to practice stopping a car.

Ms. Harris: This one girl I like, she's the meanest thing I ever seen but she's so good about some things. She washes me real good.

Ms. Harris: It looks funny to see a man carry a half naked woman around to where she can dry.

Ms. Harris: Today is the thirty-third.

Ms. Harris: I could take my wiggle chair and go all over this place but I don't want to.

Ms. Harris: Oh knitty, she's not got good sense like she's supposed to have.