So I work in a nursing home as a speech therapist, and a large part of my day is talking to adorable little old men and ladies who are either quite demented or just unabashed to be old and crazy. I jot down some of the funny comments and stories they tell me and want to share them with the world.

March 30 Stories!

Ms. Latham: I've got around 30 something children, when they all come home for Sunday dinner, it's a whole pile of them. I think there were 11 of us brothers and sisters.

Ms. Erwin: Bus is the burs-wurs!

Ms. Erwin: My sister came and took me out, oh yes, my mister came!

Ms. Erwin: I'm gonna sit over here because I don't want to go take a bath.

Ms. Erwin: They just want you do that all the time. And I understand why.

Ms. Harris: I was just mortified - until I had to take those eye drops, I didn't have anything wrong with me!

Ms. Harris: My children are all well. Faye came by today. They think when I sleep wel, I don't care to talk to them. They don't know anything I don't know.

Ms. Smith: I been waiting 4 days to find out what I weigh. How much? I weighed 2 pounds and chicken.

Mr. Oldham: Aw, I ain't got time to argue about these damn women around here.

Mr. Oldham: You should have sdeen the girls when I had that big ol' bowel movement. Patricia, she came in here and smelled of it, she turned right back out of the room and called Stacey to make him change me. I said to her why do you do this job if you don't do what you're supposed to? She said it's a good job. I said it's a good job the way ya'll are doing it. You only tend to the ones you want to.