So I work in a nursing home as a speech therapist, and a large part of my day is talking to adorable little old men and ladies who are either quite demented or just unabashed to be old and crazy. I jot down some of the funny comments and stories they tell me and want to share them with the world.


Therapist: What have you been doing this week?
Mr. Buck: Nothin' bit drinking and luggin'.

Therapist: Finish this phrase. Peanut butter and...
Mr. Buck: Syrup.

Therapist: When is your birthday?
Mr. Buck: Nicolas. It's over by now, it's got nothing to it.
Therapist: What month is your birthday in?
Mr. Buck: Shit.

Therapist: Who is John Smith? It says he's the person to contact.
Mr. Buck: (With an incredulous look) He's a no good bastard.
Therapist: It says he's your responsible party.
Mr. Buck: He ain't no sense.