So I work in a nursing home as a speech therapist, and a large part of my day is talking to adorable little old men and ladies who are either quite demented or just unabashed to be old and crazy. I jot down some of the funny comments and stories they tell me and want to share them with the world.


Therapist: Finish this phrase. Me and...
Ms. York: my uncle.

Therapist: What is this place?
Ms. York: A snot blowing place right now.

Therapist: What caused your house to flood?
Ms. York: It was. It was cuss, cussed. It was cursed!

Ms. York: She thinks she's so smart and very elite, blah blah bleh!
(About another patient).